Wednesday evening, May 20

Early Thursday morning, May 21

My studies go well; I trace the syllabograms in thought often, though I am
too embarassed to trace them on paper. Something about publicly tracing
these things seems to do it.

Often I notice that people my age always seem to speak as Narcissus. Their
conversation always starts with an amusing recount of what he or she did
this morning or yesterday or five minutes ago. And, in hearing this the
receiving end may respond out of time with a recound of something
interesting which happened to [u]himself or herself[/u]. Always the
conversation is disconnected and fruitless.

So I say not much, as noone has ears to receive anything unordinary. I may
catch myself in such an act, often for my own satisfaction in being such a
talked about fellow.

Though I have not established this before, I began writing to improve my
structure and make mysef sure of my new vocabulary, though more to the
former, as the words I learn from these dead authors have no place in a
diary. Much writing is now plagued by unnecessary words and phrases, and
indeed I see this often when peer-reviewing or reading unedited text.
Especially when I read the "works" of ██████. Clumsy overworked phrases are
now commpnplace and I am afraid nobody is emarassed by themselves enough to
chang superflous speech. Indeed I am careful of becoming overly complacent
with myself for fear of growing pitiful and unwilling to better myself; to
despise yourself, as █████████ writes, is to further yourself up the
mountain, though once you fly high above those on the rail, and especially
the lazy lot at the base, your hatred should ferment and dissolve into your
brimming cup. This, you should strive to let all drink from and empty your
cup so it may become full again.

My musings and studies I should be careful to protect; I do not seek to
foster myself into a dilettante, when the study comes second to the
appearance of studying. These people only seek to impress friends or
authority and I do not now nor ever wish to lump myself with the
dilettantes. So I write for myself and none other.