Greetings from scenic,

prettyboytellem.com

Category: Diary
Tags: Site I

Jan-29

Today I bought three more domains for my site, which inspired me to clean up the place. Based on my observations of user interaction with the site, I removed the places which were superfluous.

To be honest, I want to delete the most of it. I already dropped a few tables for hooYa!, the local booru. I kid myself for a long time, thinking that anybody needed a web-based file tagger. All I really use it for, anyway, is organizing my pictures. So a lot of the general file-tagging usage was removed from my instance of the site, which means that no movies, anime, or television shows are indexed anymore.

That site is plagued with legacy code and there's hardly a page that I don't think is poorly written. There's a true irony in this: I wrote all of that code myself, alone, and I hate it all now. I spent so much time perfecting the craft and attempting to create a seamless and beautiful user experience, but now. . .

No, I don't want it all to go back to the way it used to be. No, I don't miss my sophomore year, freshman year, any of my high-schooling one bit. I'm better for having done this, I know that much. But I feel worse now than I ever did.

Maybe these feelings are white, fresh, static snow: unfamiliar feelings.

A feeling of personal progress and self-understanding has capitalized every sentence of the past few months. It's funny that even the author does not understand his own story's direction.

Do not worry about me, however. The familiar unfamiliarity has come and passed many times now: I am keenly knowing of the unknown, though I often do not recognize it. The contents of this diary stand to defend that claim.

Soon, I will be going to Tokyo. Late March through Mid-August. I absolutely cannot wait to go, especially since it is my ambition to work abroad. It's important to not forget how long I have worked toward this study abroad: 2 years, nearly 2 years ago this was only a dream. A lot of people never find the motivation to persist so far.

But please, find that motivation inside yourself to follow your dreams.

I know: even understanding your dreams can be difficult. But take inspiration from the past: realize what you enjoy with a glance backward. Do not forget about tomorrow. Kindle your natural light and become the architect of your future: do not allow things to be decided for you.

Do that for me.

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